To self-defence or not to self-defence?

Following the police vetting report released in early November, we’ve been reflecting on women’s safety in the UK. Whilst the UK is generally a safe place to live, there’s still a lot of work to be done. ONS data from June 2021 showed that 1 in 2 women felt unsafe walking alone after dark in a quiet street near their home, compared to 1 in 7 men. Alongside this, the data revealed that 44% of women aged 16 to 34 years old had experienced catcalls, whistles, unwanted sexual comments or jokes, and 29% had felt like they were being followed .

In the 1970s, one of the innovative responses to violence against women was to learn self-defence. Since then, there’s been much debate around whether this is something we should be encouraging women to take part in. Does it give an opportunity for responsibility to be shifted onto a women if she’s attacked, claiming that she should’ve ‘fought back’? Does it provide genuinely helpful techniques to make women feel safer?

Dede, our Gym Manager, gives her view on the topic and asks us to think beyond the immediate practical application of techniques learnt in self-defence when considering whether or not we should learn the skill.

Written by Dede Foley, November 2022

Times have changed. Women are speaking up about their frightening experiences; when travelling, when walking home in the dark, when out socialising.  Even if you’ve never had a scary experience, the thought that it might happen is there. It’s real and every woman I know talks about how they feel and how they protect themselves making their way home at night.

The clocks have gone back and now we have to navigate ourselves in the dark even earlier in the day. However, where self-defence was something that was an option, now there are a lot of women saying why should I be the one to have to learn to defend myself because of a certain group of people in society? We all know that the onus should not be on women to change their behaviour and this piece is not arguing for that. However, I believe there are other, deeper impacts of learning a new skill and that doing so will provide many benefits and advantages.

Before we talk about self-defence, let’s define it. What is self-defence? As defined in the Oxford dictionary ‘self-defence is the defence of one's person or interests, especially through the use of physical force, which is permitted in certain cases as an answer to a charge of violent crime’.

“Not only does it teach you a great skill, it also gives you fantastic fitness when taught alongside the understanding that being able to defend yourself can also mean staying the course”

In a utopian world we hope that this noun will not exist – but we don’t exist in that world, at least not yet.

So to my question; to self-defence or not to self-defence?

The answer is an absolute yes.

Why do I think this?

Because not only does it teach you a great skill, it also gives you fantastic fitness when taught alongside the understanding that being able to defend yourself can also mean staying the course. It can teach you confidence, mindfulness and calmness, and you will learn great breathing exercises which will help in all walks of life.

And how do I know this?

I’ve trained in different disciplines on and off for over the last 20 years and gained my Level 3 self-defence teaching with the mighty Mark Dawes, the Director and National Coach Tutor of NFPS Ltd.

Dede (right) practising KIXA in a park with her friend, Fran.

My first introduction to self-defence was attending an Indonesian self-defence called KIXA where I eventually became a second degree instructor.  I learnt about breathing techniques, how to lock my body down when being punched or kicked and I suffered many hours of hard fitness.  I trained in Indonesia which I can honestly say this is the hardest and most exhilarating thing I have done in my life. However, I can’t truly say that I learnt the skills required to defend myself in a real life situation. I was good at taking punches to my solar plexus and being kicked in the back. I also broke a brick with my foot on the ground and at head height! It was also one of the main reasons why my 18-year relationship with panic attacks ended. Whilst I learnt so much, I still wasn’t prepared for a physical crime against me.

But then I discovered Krav Maga. I can only talk from my own experience but, to me, this is the ultimate practise of self-defence. It’s street defence at its very best; it’s brutal and it’s not complicated. It’s all about natural reactions when defending yourself and how to refine those moves. Anything goes to defend yourself as long as you keep in line with the law of the land. The training is hard and it should be – because if you ever have to use it, you want to be prepared mentally and physically.

“When the opportunity arises I’ll be back training in Krav Maga again. Not just for the self-defence but for the friendships, support, excellent coaches, the fitness and knowledge.”

The instructors I trained with at London Krav Maga were friendly, brilliant at what they do, encouraging and had a deep belief that everyone in that room was capable of defending themselves if the need arose.  For my last training with them, I decided to attend the women only classes after having an unfortunate sexist remark thrown at me on my first day in the mixed group. Now don’t think for one second that I couldn’t handle that remark but I realised the reason why I was in that mixed group was because I believed I had to fight against men to be the best. I train and teach boxing, I’m fit and I wanted to up my game, and I assumed that I needed to be in a mixed class to do this… how wrong could I be.

Dede runs a women-only boxing class at The Bridge. Boxing is her absolute passion!

The women only group taught by the wonderful Sarah Brendlor was full of incredible, talented, strong and skilled women who taught me so much and who also became Sunday coffee morning friends. I came away with a few cuts and bruises some weekends as I chose sometimes to train without gloves and pads to build my resilience – however you are encouraged to use gloves, pads and the beautiful women’s shaped jock strap which can all be purchased on their website!

My time there was limited as I moved out of London but when the opportunity arises I’ll be back training in Krav Maga again. Not just for the self-defence but for the friendships, support, excellent coaches, the fitness and knowledge. I only wish there were more clubs around the country teaching it!

I hope that this article has changed your opinion on self-defence. Whilst the unfortunate reality is that for our safety, learning self-defence is a valuable skill, there are so many other incredible benefits gained from the discipline.

And it’s not something that comes easily. You really have to work hard, train and repeat to reach a good level of understanding and be able to apply these skills in real-life scenarios.

I can promise you you’ll feel better and fitter, gain so much mentally from learning a new skill and you’ll make friends for life. What more could you ask for!

 
Amy Russell2 Comments